My soon-to-be four year old is currently obsessed with finding surfaces to rest his balls on. We’re a loooong way from consulting with him on any major life decisions.

You take the call because you know the news is going to be the next call and you’ll get a chance to remind the world that Trump is a piece of garbage. I know most of us never forget that, but it’s important to sustain and amplify the message as much as possible all the way to November.

Should’ve stayed in his blind, sipping Budweiser, waiting for Bambi’s mom.

That’s some racist shit. I feel sorry for you that you see things that way. Your world is very small.

Diversity. Inclusion. Equity. Anything less is a charade.

I used to wonder what trick Trump would play this fall if he lost the election and decided he’s not leaving. Well, this is the trick, and it’s already been played. This weekend is proof that the police will be on his side when he refuses to go.

Add to that how few cops patrol in neighborhoods they actually live in.

I work with the diversity committee at my firm and it’s been an ongoing frustration. Our stats are terrible. Rather than do anything to improve D&I, they want to promote how many boards our people sit on. When I try to argue for recruitment, they hide behind being in one of the whitest states in the country. Thing is,…

I used to work with someone who had been a staffer for Susan Collins. She made it sound like Collins is the Kolbuchar of the Northeast. Congress is filled with awful people.

I used to work with a woman who was a professed “Right Wing Republican” and would have to take occasional road trips with her. Every. Single. Time. I had to hear her rant about how ridiculous it was that the government made her wear a seatbelt. I will bet the entire remaining balance of my credit card (don’t get too…

I have two kids. 3 and 6. We do not post pictures of them online because terms of service make it clear social media sites can do whatever they want with those photos and we don’t want our kids used to advertise Facebook. We didn’t post their birthdates and we never refer to them by their first names. When they were…

People who post their kid’s entire life to their social have no idea how easy they’re making it to steal that kid’s identity. There are multiple generations now who are growing up with severely compromised personal information through no fault of their own.

I’m 100% not defending these people, but the blame also falls to the 700,000+ people who watch these kinds of videos. Without an audience, these people would be far less inclined to live their lives online because it just wouldn’t be financially worth it. We’ve spent 20+ years mocking the antics of the broken people on…

The same people who enjoy recipes where you have to read a 1,000 memoir about the person posting the recipe before you get to the list of ingredients, or who like Yelp reviews that begin “Sorry I haven’t posted in a while” like it’s a livejournal account.

I would guess being a VP involves a contract with a PR clause. I mean, she’s not just some data analyst or day trader. She’s a high-level representative of the company. That has to come with expectations of not doing anything that sheds a bad light on the company. Having the company name mentioned in every article…

I’m sure she has a gaggle of friends who will tell her at Zoom brunch “Oh my god, Amy, you’re like the most not racist person I know. It’s so unfair what’s happening to you.” And then, when she’s not around and you ask “Hey, aren’t you friends with Amy Cooper?” they’re all like “I don’t know her.”

A properly trained dog will behave off leash until the exact moment it decides not to. Because it’s an animal, not a robot. And all it takes is the right stimuli to kick all that obedience school training to the back of its tiny brain and pure, primitive bestial instinct to take over.

Boo-fucking-hoo. She was a VP at an investment company. She’ll get a nice severance package, sit out the rest of the pandemic, then “leverage her network,” and be back employed before Christmas. Maybe she won’t get a VP position right away. Maybe she won’t get the ~$162,000 salary she was making. Maybe she’ll have to…

Obviously, Mario Party is just a pretext for an airing of grievances. Whenever I have unresolved issues with my spouse, I just invite her to play a game of MP and she knows tears and apologies are implied by the proposition.

I agree that Cornette is irrelevant. Which is why I ignore anything he says. Why give his idiocy a platform? Especially when the vast majority of actually relevant voices seem to only have supportive things to say about Lynch?