Shocking! The celebrity version of That Artsy Guy in Every Dorm with an Acoustic Guitar Who Wrote a Song About You (aka, That Guy in the Women’s Studies Class Who’s Just Really Amazed by How Powerful Women Are) turned out to be a creeper. Never would’ve seen that coming.
BreadMakesYouFat
breadmakesyoufat
Marketing professional here. (I influence people to hire the attorneys I work for.) Influencers can piss and moan all they want. It’s a waste of time. Even types of advertising/marketing that are considered legit are viewed as loathsome by people not in the industry. People don’t like the idea that someone can…
People don’t like being told that their good time is actually harmful (“I’m a good person!”). See also: Why people don’t tell me about the cruise they went on. Sure, everything humans do is harmful in some way, but there are definitely things that are more harmful (cruise ships) or could just be easily avoided (leave…
I think they’re hoping for the “You can’t handle the truth!” moment. The problem is, when it happens, we’ll sadly see how many people thought Col Jessup was the hero of that movie.
In college, I waited tables at a restaurant with a guy who had a solid 8 inches height on me, and I was a pudgy nerd and not a fighter at all. He had a habit of complimenting the waitresses behind their backs by saying “She’s so cute I want to rape her.” The first time he said it, I was so caught off guard that I was…
When I lived in NYC, I invited my sister from Mass to visit. We took the subway from Queens, got off in midtown, where she promptly and loudly announced, “Jeez, you sure do have a lot of freakin’ Ricans in this city.” What I just don’t understand is why she was compelled to insult a mass of people after less than 5…
Haven’t watched football since 2012, after Junior Seau killed himself. The first couple of years were tough, especially having to listen to people who are excited about the season (and I live in New England, so they are aggressively excited about every season) and resisting the urge to be Debbie Downer when asked if…
And all that excessive food consumption gets turned into excessive amounts of human waste and is illegally dumped in the ocean. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that? Cruises are one of the most ecologically damaging vacations in the world. I know we won’t stop, but can we stop?
Here’s how I plan to become a successful podcaster:
When I taught college freshman writing, I had only three rules:
Oh, see, I think Pence is dangerous. He has that Moral Majority kinda milquetoast bullshit that too many people look to after a chaotic stretch. I can easily see people voting for him because “he’s a nice Christian man who isn’t going to cause trouble like Trump, and he isn’t going to want to change things like the…
“Believe it!”
Good point. I take it back. I don’t want him to choke on a chicken bone. I want his plane to crash on a deserted island and he’s the only survivor and we never find him (because we never bother to look).
Catch-22: If he’s impeached, we restore a shred of justice and faith in The Process, but we end up with President Pence, who will set himself up as the kind of paragon of old-fashioned Christian family values and moral stability that the common herd laps up, which leads to him being elected legitimately in 2020 and we…
This would solve my dilemma: There is nothing I want more than to see Donald Trump in chains for his crimes and the damage he’s done to this country. But I don’t want to see the President of the United States escorted out of the White House and thrown in prison. I need Nature/Karma/Happenstance to step in and fix this.
I said costume, not what does Stephen Miller wear for pajamas?
See, that joke works. When it’s me, it’s lame. And I’m disappointed in myself that my instincts failed me.
Selling lottery tickets. Im like what numbers would you like? Everyone be like “the winning ones.”
I think Fox News is testing the waters for its inevitable abandonment of Trump. With the exception of maybe Hannity, they were never going to be Ride or Die for the guy. Even Tucker Carlson is too much of an opportunistic chameleon to stick around when the SS Donald starts sinking. So Fox kept Shep Smith on-air as a…