Beer just came out of my nose I was laughing so hard....thank you for this, it made my day!

If it's any consolation, your confession made me laugh harder than anything I've seen on the internet all week.

In the book he had sex a lot. And smoked a shit ton of weed. The book is really a better version because they don't make him into the Magical Developmentally Disabled Person so much.

Catherine O'Hara=goddess

"Is it really BETTER THAN PULP FICTION?"

When I haunt you I promise I'll only do it on Friendster.

I'm sorry, but your headline really oversold it. This is approximately the level terror this inspired:

I want to reach out and reassure you of so many things, but everything I type is "not all men". I guess all I can say in response to your questions is "because misogyny." It's a terrible scourge and it's just so goddamn unnecessary. We really gotta get rid of that shit.

Huh? It's not that you're not allowed to focus on who you're attracted to. You can want someone "out of your league". Everyone's attracted to different things. Elliot Rodger seems to have been preoccupied with blondes that he thought were too good looking for him. I mean, aside from the obvious self-hatred there,…

Today is a day for Team Cat.

At worst they ran blush. Mayyyybe mascara.

"Ok, let's work on your execu-speak. I'm worried about blank".

Hrm ... I diasgree? But then urbandictionary (ugh) says you're technically right (even though moose knuckle is still listed as a synonym for camel toe).

Damnit.

YOU WIN THIS ROUND, MAYFLY. ENJOY YOUR PRECIOUS 24 HOUR LIFECYCLE.

Or certain individuals permanently benched.

It's the celebrating after that moves it from thoughtless to evil, especially when it involves people a row or seat removed and could see the larger picture. I can see getting caught up in the moment and acting thoughtlessly. People wait decades to catch a ball and most people never do. But after it was over and…

Way back in 1910, when Abraham Felterbuschenbaum arrived on the steamship from Gdansk with his young wife to start a new life in the United States, he just knew something wasn't right when the immigration officer told him, through barely-contained giggles, he was getting a more American-sounding name.

It's what happens when there's a hole in your Nene.