Can you not just say something like "Hey, would love to see another film, but text the whole time and I'll shove that thing up your ass"? Is this why I don't have any friends?!

I just googled him. He went to Harvard Law School?!

It's not really that simple. Rich, famous, hot girl has lots of options so she should pick someone who won't hit her. What about the rest of us?

Immature? I think it's probably a bit more complex than that.

JHud's fiance is HOT.

You wouldn't believe the shit I've seen at the gym. A woman using a chest press machine wearing a cocktail dress and platform shoes, someone using the ellyptical while eating (and not even like a granola bar, but something out of a bowl, with a fork), a guy running around the track, holding a burning incense stick.…

I encourage everyone to get as much exercise as they can. That said, as a gym-junkie, I've got to say that January 2nd to Valentine's Day is the absolute worst time of the year. I usually change my entire schedule until everyone eventually gives up.

One time I went out dancing while wearing the Miraculous. Long story short, I ended up making out with this guy and he put his hand on my boob and I burst out laughing. Needless to say, he never called. But he would have been so disappointed to see me without it anyway.

I could do without "staycation" and "douche"/"douchey"/"douchenozzle" etcetera.

I'm going to check him out online. I tend to like comedians that pepole find assholey.

I just went on iTunes to check them out and none sound familiar. I feel like a weirdo.

I practically fell over the first time I wore the Miraculous. It makes me look like a D cup. And I'm a small B.

Aw, that's a really cute photo.

I thought he was cute on ER. Nowadays I just find him blah and, yes, smug. And for some odd reason, every time I see a photo of him, I think of bad breath.

Okay, I'm not trying to be That Person who joins the discussion just to say Who are these people? because I know that Perry and Brand are both celebrities and that she sings and apparently has nice boobs and that he has a cool accent (all of which I learned on Jez!), and I can obviously google for the rest. But I feel…

I once asked that at the dinner table when I was a kid. I also once said, around the Passover table, I think, "What if Jesus really was the Messiah and we're all just waiting around like idiots?" Neither went over very well.

Yeah. 'Nuff said. I do have a mental list of dreams like that. I think I'm going to write it down and carry it around with me, like she did.

I don't know, I dream of owning a home, finding love and a job I don't hate (let alone any job) and, despite being very privileged and having had a lot of opportunities, I certainly don't expect to achieve any of those things. We're living in tough times; who the heck takes stuff like that for granted?

Yeah, me too.

I think only about a quarter of celebritiy relationships are real.