Definition of pwned.

I guess you don’t fear little boy jail when you’re already in little boy hell.

“Terrible form. 3/10”

More like guy runs onto live track.

So Andrew McCutchen pays about $20,000 per month not to live in Pittsburgh?

Jesus Christ dipshit, it was a joke.

$1500 into his 401(k)? Dude’ll never have enough to retire comfortably at that rate.

I hope the guy who owns a boat finally catches a lucky break here.

He told me there was a 25-foot tree planted between home plate and the pitcher’s mound.

Nothing involving lacrosse is better than anything involving football.

Wow. Look at how far that fat guy ran without his sweatpants falling down.

It’s okay, Heidi. I vomit in my mouth a little bit whenever the Cardinals are mentioned, too.

“At least you can see yours.” —Bartolo Colon’s reply

You’ve clearly never been to his page.

His wife’s reply is pretty great.

Within 24 hours of Liverpool not being able to score a single goal against Hull City, the two best strikers we’ve had have score 3 collectively. Fun.

This announcer is officially getting old.

My favorite part of this goal is that afterward all three Real players involved (Chicharito, James, and Ronaldo) seem to go off and celebrate individually, instead of together.

I'm going to assume it's because she's a woman, and inherently dummer.

How in the world does a FIFA referee not know this basic rule?