Whenever you sneeze I will reply with “Really, it’s come to this?”

That’s ridiculous. You’re paying a fair, reasonable amount to have somebody drive you from point A to point B. There is absolutely no reason to expect chauffeur-level service, so don’t calibrate you five-star-o-meter to it.

But...but...burdensome regulations...free market...er...um...Benghazi!!!

Yes, but less than the cost to invade yet another third world country. I know which I’d rather do.