How much do I need to scrounge up to have the Rock announce my next birthday? Hell, how much more would it be to have him announce my next hook-up?

Scientists say that by as early as 2045 there may well be a computer that dwarfs mankind.

I've seen that exact change in a woman's face before, down to the approaching tears.

This man is the best thing to happen to the Red Sox in decades.

Was it ever determined what happened to the game-by-game recap of the Heat someone was doing for Deadspin?

I would be more irate about the fact that Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Dunham consistently make upwards of $20 million a year pandering the the nation's poor and stupid.

+1 Born-Again Christian Juggalo

I had a mental image of an alternate-world Dick Vitale that has all the same fetishes as Marv Albert and passed out from sheer terror for a bit.

I transposed a couple words in that sentence and let me tell you, it 's a lot less dirty your way.

Everything is a highlight of a game at Camp Randall. Well, except for the arrests.

You highly underestimate the amount of MGD our freshman women can drink.

I actually heard about that book. I might need to pick it up. You should also look at Fordlandia: The Rise and Fall of Henry Ford's Forgotten Jungle City to continue the Amazonian theme

Prior to Sunday’s Super Bowl loss, Steelers running back Mewelde Moore talked about the difference between Brad Childress and Mike Tomlin.

I really want to understand this story, but I'm pretty sure I gave myself Bell's Palsy trying to decipher it

That's what one of Cowherd's Elite NFL Quarterbacks does: Makes big time throws in big time situations under big time scrutiny.

Donald Driver: Damages.

Aaron Rodgers on Favre's pre-retirement retirement non-retirement circus: "I was the one who took all the reps during the preseason, he was the one who took all the reps during the season"

I think his complete obliviousness to how easy he has it is what irritates me the most.

God, do I ever fucking loathe Peter King to the core of his bloated, entitled soul

ASL provided by Hanoi Jane