Fed is so humble.

During job interviews I like to read out a list of ethnic slurs and get them to choose their favorite.

I can appreciate a journalist who’s dedicated to their beat, but the election has been pretty thoroughly covered.

She’s never going to topple this one:

The USPS is not funded by taxpayers.

I used to work at a pizzeria. Every day around noon four mailmen would walk in, order pizza and sit around for 4-5 hours. After a couple weeks I broached the subject of how they had so much time mid day to hang around.