This is the kind of caustic wit I can applaud. See also: Mondial 8.

Dear Jalopnik,

5th gear. I'd be interested in hearing about anyone actually getting a sustained 40+ mpg in one of the new rash of new small cars with tall top gears (Cruze, Elantra, Focus, etc.). And backing it up with some real numbers. Because I'm calling B-S.

No statement more true.

These roads could be fast...barring potholes.

The tailspin is nice but I prefer my coffee with a 50-50 Grind.

I ain't 'fraida no bean.

Sebring. Sigh. White, with black pleather. For the two days I had it, I called it Sophie.

I was once given a choice between a smart car and a Sebring. Really.

Agreed, the driver could easily have seen this tree with enough time to...put on the brakes! He was going, what, 25 mph? Please, he could easily have stopped in time.

Probably not. The Maserati engineers were famous for being brilliant engine designers but indifferent to good chassis design. How they made this work I have no idea.

Cracking wit, sir!

Wasn't the RS4 priced around this level? Or was it more like $70K?

Exactly. This is why not having a manned vehicle that's not Soyuz is so annoying. We need to build on what we started with ISS and begin building the Mars mission craft in LEO.

I didn't think of that, but you're right. I guess BMW can't ignore fuel economy even in the M cars.

Business case: Rebadge liquidation Saabs and unsold Lincoln MKTs. All vehicles will be re-sprayed orange and trimmed in a highly-reflective gold-lame material. Optional on all cars will be Mercedes or Rolls-Royce grilles.

Oh, wow, this is a big issue. Let's expand the Office of Recovery for Auto Communities and Workers to address it.

Just wait until the they find out that Verrazano lied on his asylum paperwork. Sentiment will turn that fast.

Officers Detonate Suspicious Package on Bridge

Hobo Kitten Snarls Bridge Traffic on Holiday Weekend