Sadly, this means that no matter how many golds Shiffrin wins in the future, either in these Games or future ones, she’ll never be able to break the record for most golds won, which will be held by her equipment.

I meaaaaan... this is fine? I feel like calling out Wendy’s in the original headlines was kinda shitty? Obviously the message was cut out fast food but Brown’s experience was tied to a nearby Wendy’s. So while it can be pointed out in the article that he stopped going to Wendy’s, calling them out in the headline makes…

Am I supposed to be upset over this? It sounds to me like ESPN should have been smart enough not to trash one of their sponsors in a headline in the first place.

One ended up in Sacramento.

“Just keep feeding me in the post.”

It’s a bit hypocritical of Kerr to criticize Trump and then blatantly copy his leadership style.

“Watch this” came right after “hold my Egg McMuffin”

Tweeting about ice cream, churros and breakfast sandwiches, if it weren’t for the fact that she’s super talented, she would basically be me.

“He showed a lot of heart. He’s a true competitor. We’ve decided to suspend him indefinitely, for one match.” - Coach K

He’s a gyro to his people.

I’m here to win medals and get laid, and it looks like they’re all out of medals.

Somebody call Dick Tracy, I think we’ve located Little Face!

Well, if you take the case to a Jury trial I think he might get 10-15 years in football jail but he may get off with nothing. On the other hand, if you offer him a plea I bet he’d take 7-9.

Worth taking this opportunity to note that the Mets still pay Bobby Bonilla $1.2 million every year, and will continue to do that until 2035.

“I’ve never been a spy myself”

While I agree, I smell something fishy. Milwaukee’s treatment of brown people is less than sterling.

Well luckily he still has his Bad Santa residuals to fall back on.

My Mom, her two siblings and their three first cousins came home to a partially eaten pan of fudge one day and kept eating and eating until they realized they were going to get in trouble for how much fudge they’d eaten. Being kids of the 1950s with very little supervision, they decided the best course of action would…

1. Cut all the brownies and place them on a plate.

I was totally expecting his dick pics. This is awkward now.