Outcall exorcism invoice:
Invoice number: 666
_________________

Reported demonic activity:
-Bishop having satanic thoughts.
_________________
Diagnosis and completed work:
-Copy of “The Hell of Gabriel’s Lust” found under mattress.
-Splashed holy water at the afflicted. Holy bible passage rescited in Latin.

It’s fair grounds of study in anthropology, archaeology, literature, sociology, and theology. It’s when people apply their study to their Buffy the Vampire Slayers real-world skillset that I find it farcical.

I was raised Catholic & I’m gonna let you in on a secret: exorcism is not exciting, dangerous or violent. It is mostly paperwork and Latin “legalese”. It’s as tedious as removing squatters.
Now you know.

I blessed my golf club for a higher score. Never occurred to me that blessing my jizz would give it demon-slaying power.

Nuns With Nice Buns On The Run

This one time...at conversion camp...I stuck a penis-resembling carrot in my pussy!

Not a big stretch for the folks drinking fish tank cleaner and eating horse de-wormer. 

“The only choice is to fuck the demon out with my holy jizz.”

No, he’s still LARPing.  She’s RPing a succubus.  He hasn’t leveled high enough to be able to turn her.  Wait, are succubi undead?  I’m guess not.  Oh well, he’s screwed then.

The year is 2021, and there are people that still believe that extradimensional demonic forces can gain physical and mental control over the planet’s dominant species of sentient (some say intelligent) apes. But you can fight the forces of fallen angels with the right incantations and sprinkling them with water.

Alexa, remind me to record this episode when they show up as a couple on The Newlywed Game.

this is disappointing.  i was hoping he was leaving for chuck tingle.

Church colleagues told Spanish media they believe Bishop Novell had been possessed by demons

Welp, looks like the devil went down to Gorga, Spain.

Satan-tinged, perhaps just a touch of Satan,

I made a related joke up above, but for several years now I’ve been thinking of the Catholic Church as the world’s largest LARPing organization, and they take it way too seriously.

“Church colleagues told Spanish media they believe Bishop Novell had been possessed by demons,” the article reads, “with one saying this was ‘not a problem of celibacy but rather of infestation.’”

Between this and Abbot declaring that they’ll eradicate rape before it can become a problem, this has been a fucking weird day.

Truth truly is stranger than satanic-tinged erotic fiction.