This is the stuff right here. I want to print it, let it soften in a bucket of water for several days, then slowly over the course of many hours grind it into a fine paste that I can inject directly into my left nipple. Good stuff.

This reminds me of the beef between TuPac-12 and Big East Smalls.

WHO SAID SHONEY’S?! WHO SUMMONED BIG POPPA PUMP, THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY?!

The Wizards are not pretty good!

I still blame you for this, you jerk. You guaranteed that the well-done steak enthusiast wouldn’t win. Millions of your devoted readers stayed home as a result, instead of going out and voting for Hillary.

If Trump is unpopular, why does this cat look like this? If liberalism is popular, why does this cat look like this?

Yeah, this part is mindblowing to me as a law student. If there’s anything the US has in spades, it’s conservative legal scholars! Those creepy, suit-to-class, freedom-of-contract people are everywhere.

First they came for the pedophiles, and I was silent. Then they came for the rapist, and I did not say a word. Then they came for gropers and the grab-assers, and still I said nothing. When they came for me, the office sexual harasser, there was no one left to speak for me...

I’m not racist. I have white friends. Namaste!

Sorry, all 11 of those names have already been traded by the Sixers.

“I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death my right to tell you stop saying it”...?

hm, looks like this article has reached the Facebook group for snitches and stooges

He took the door off the spice cabinet in his kitchen to maximize brand visibility for McCormick.

Get a load of this snitch!

Why don’t you wait until you’re on the right side of .500 before you start declaring victory.

There’s NOVA Pro that runs out of Annandale, you’re not gonna get a ton of big-name indie TV talent, but they have some really fun cards. Over the summer, I went to a show at the Annandale Fire Dept with Chuck Taylor, Keith Lee, Tim Donst vs Fred Yehi, and the Progressive Liberal.

I can’t watch WWE TV anymore. The camera switches with every single impact move to the point I just get queasy. Once you notice the quick camera takes, it’s hard to not.

If Lavar Ball and Donald Trump fucked, this comment would be their baby.