It’s not our fault he has a stupid face.

Kinda sucks to be neighbors with a country that hands out firearms like they were tic tacs.

I’ve driven through Mianus, CT.

Fun fact. Judas was also a tenor.

You’re probably not wrong.

Will ice cream work?

Someone certainly taught him about alliteration unfortunately.

Your remind me of an old Robin Williams bit about Jamaica making an atomic bong. “When an atomic bomb goes off there’s devastation and radiation. When an atomic bong goes off there’s celebration!”

I went for a walk in the park yesterday and damn, were there people.

Eh have at it!

Those dogs get treated better than the women in their lives.

Unrelated but my aunt wanted our entire family to take those genealogy tests so we could prove our whiteness when her president starts rounding up illegals. I asked her what makes her think we’re so “pure”.

If a Census taker asks for proof, then that’s way outside both the charge they carry as a census worker and WAY outside any training they receive.

Honestly, in the shower later that day I went through different scenarios in which I was that woman and if I had had a gun in the car. I imagined a lot of clever one-liners, some gun spinning, quick drawing. A true citizen’s arrest.

That would be exhausting.

I saw a woman carjacked at gun point yesterday. Should I have given the gun CPR? Is that how this works?

“Why aren’t kids talking about this?” Vitter asked, referring to law enforcement’s numerous shortcomings ahead of the Feb. 14 mass shooting.

Columbine happened around my time in high school and while we weren’t required to have clear backpacks I know some schools in/around my district definitely made it a requirement. Also we wore IDs. *Yawn* We still had bomb threats. They still put bullet-proof glass on the balcony overlooking the cafeteria.

What if it’s for toilet paper? Synergy.