I legitimately adore Matchstick Men. Easily my favorite Ridley Scott film after Alien.

I love Green Mario.

Stefano Spielbergo, il equivalente messicano non sindacato!

I for one can’t wait to see Christopher Plummer in Deadpool 2.

Sean Penn may be the most gifted filmmaker I’ve ever read; gifted not just because of his imagination, his energy, his originality, but because he has access to the unutterable, because he can look inside a humanitarian crisis and discover the the banal romance clichés. For twenty-six years he has been making films…

And you should at least be able to acknowledge that you are a failed film critic, because surely if you were able to produce a better film critique than the one you denounce, you would have done so.

If straight men are so insistent on sending dick pics, they can just email them to me or just send them via grindr or Scruff. Give your dick pics to a good gay home.

You have to click on the linked Sunday Times article, which you can’t read unless you are a Sunday Times subscriber, so no fucking clue. Maybe try a pop culture and entertainment news site that isn’t turning into absolute garbage.

You want me to be proud of your...your ‘male modeling’? I just thank the Lord your mother didn’t live to see her son as a mermaid.

The one at SDCC didn’t have as many digital Christopher Plummers inserted into the cast.

According to my Texas approved sixth grade American history book, all the Native Americans went back to their home planet.

Irony is like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

an old man who  bit nuts?

The AV CLUB: Blurb-O-Matic:

But do they give him his mask back and promise not to tell anybody that he’s Spider-Man?

India.

Just as an FYI for anyone who might enjoy trivia, this is my 200th Random Roles to appear on the AV Club...and, boy, are my arms tired!

Rosebud is a glass dildo.

Here’s a pretty compelling argument that Luke Skywalker didn’t blow up the Death Star.