Flipside of this headline:

Not to be a profound square but this woman is a thief, is likely a kleptomaniac and should probably be in jail or treatment or both.

She’s a shitty person, he’s a criminally shitty person.

As long as they’re both consenting adults, who tf are you to judge?

The one in Helsinki? Why are they even there?

Meh. I think I’ll save my excitement for the professional Kick the Can league.

So we’re really just going straight back to 2nd Grade, huh?

Everything is on the plate with Bartolo.

Forget my other post. I just looked it up bc I was curious. NY is a demand and refusal state which means that the statute of limitations doesn’t start running until the possessor refuses to return the object upon demand. CA and NJ are discovery rule states (statute of limitations starts running when true owner knew…

I’d go with Giuliani over Christie myself. A good host must have an encyclopedia of sports knowledge in his head to excel at the job. One thing you can say about Rudy is that he Never Forgets.

This is why I believe Madonna. Why would she give letters away? It’s not like they take up space. And I would hope she didn’t give dirty underwear to a friend.

The jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!

Which of the 12 steps is going back and apologizing to everyone?

Yes I was! In the scene with the yellow flowers where all the frat bros are going to beat up Ewan McGregor, I’m walking behind all the dudes. I was sixteen, very blonde and wearing a teal wool vintage 50s sweater set with matching circle skirt.

I’m not sure that law applies where Trump’s been referenced in the article’s second sentence.

Someone with an IP background is better-positioned to address this than me, but I think something like 85% of Deadspin readers are attorneys, so let’s just give it a few minutes: doesn’t a trademark owner run the risk of losing rights to its mark if it fails to diligently prosecute infringement? In other words, is…

I also know of women who just really wanted a baby and went ahead and got pregnant even though they were having problems with their partner and knew he didn’t really want a baby. There are also likely some people who have thought that having a baby might trap someone into recommitting to a relationship. I certainly…

The answer to life, the universe, everything...is 42

Me: In the interest of full disclosure, I wanted to stuff my face between Natalie Portman’s thighs when I saw her in Your Highness...

I was good at small talk for the brief, shining 3 month period in the summer of 2011 when I tried online dating. I rallied and was charming dammit. Now I’m married and hideously out of practice at talking to strangers in non-professional environments.