Gotta make sure the penis is still there. Big part of baseball.

Considering John Kruk and Curt Schilling were in the booth, Ortiz’s comment was the most cogent observation of the night.

After talking the trash, Ortiz... checks to make sure his penis is still there?

As a Yankee fan, all I can say is what a gigantic loser and a disgrace to the game of baseball this guy is. I’m really sick of this clown and everything he does. Seriously, get Stephen Drew off the fucking field.

Also a fair representation of Drew’s reaction when a black person tries to talk to him on the subway.

That’s the face he makes when he sees police officers.

“Sure, I appreciate it, Dad. Giving me a football with my own autograph on it just seems a little odd.”

I haven't seen him murder something that bad since he and Razzle decided to go to the liquor store.

Yum.

The conversation continues, though, and it gets more damning from there:

The stoppable force meets the movable object.

This is exactly how I imagined a "fight" between these two guys.

Yeah, but if you play it backwards, it's an auctioneer selling priceless Satanic heirlooms.

There is much to joke about when it comes to Bill Walton. But I will say this: Anyone who can be so "out there," but still forge a completely successful relationship with one of the most famously straight-laced people of all time, be a Hall of Famer and reach the absolute pinnacle of his profession, find a second…

I was thinking he looked like the actor who would play Al Bundy on an Italian adaptation of Married with Children.

Of course Belichick is in favor of more cameras on the field. Duh.

Coach Rand Paul looked genuinely concerned.

He probably got hit with a poison mormon dart.