Since when are all former NFLers incapable of holding another job?

I’d tell you the great hipster joke I heard last year, but something tells me you already have it on vinyl.

The Forest Hills Farmers Market is really the only place in Queens you can get away with squeezing melons on Sundays.

If she doesn't want to be groped why does she have those big tits?

Maybe it’s time the NCAA extends its drug testing policy to cover announcers, too...

I don’t see the problem

Bad timing for a Lincecum impression.

“All-digital is the future! Anyone who has concerns over an always-online system and DRM policies that curb consumer rights is obviously an ignorant Luddite.”

The line for crow stew forms over there.

Glad to see he’s okay. The angle where you are looking at him is great. He tries to correct, realizes he’s screwed, and hugs his arms to his chest. Never quite seen it like that before.

Heliocopter?

Just goes to show. I don’t care how much money you pour into a car. When you get em on the roof they don’t handle for shit.

The good baseball man hit the ball far. The happy old man with the nice voice thought it was neat how far the ball went.

Piazza - PED tic tacs

yea i love that they did away with Murder Bird only to bring out the freaky King Cake Baby. He’s like Krampus for Mardi Gras

This is like a seen in some Tarantino esque film, +1

Once in college, I went with my roommate to a guy in some kind of snake-related business for some guidance because my roommate’s shitty snake was basically starving itself (I guess from depression—who knows? it was a fucking snake and I am not and never was a snake guy). I have no idea how my roommate found this place…

Dallas no-car guy is a shithead. You aren’t being mean. Fuck him.

“My wife found a snake in the backyard the other day”

We were designed by God for touching.