Luckily, when Mike takes a 22-minute nap he only snoozes on-air for half a segment.

And if things hold, it’s going to be a whole bunch of Missouri

Well then.

How the hell did we make it to 2015 without “Destroyer” being the name of a heavy metal band sometime in the past 30 years?

Cool. Now, in addition to football, they can develop an infatuation for high school rowing. The best part is, the venue is already built.

Ashton Kutcher is late for that train. They’ve already made Butterfly Effect 2 — and 3.

I live 1,200 miles from where I went to high school, and most of the people I hung out with I keep in touch with on a regular basis. Assuming I’m relatively normal in this regard, I don’t get it either.

Enlighten me. What is the big picture? That we’re adding an interesting two minutes to a game that took 3:15 to play?

Actually, it is. The guy tried to look cool by jumping on home plate, and missed. Or at least came close enough that it was worth a look to see if he missed.

Lighten up on the caffeine, dude.

Because it’s a rule? Because, if you’re the Giants, it’s a run taken off the board that might win you the game later on? Because, as others have noted, it’s the baseball equivalent of a jackass football player dropping the ball at the 1-yard line to look cool?

You obviously do not watch SyFy and therefore have no credibility in this argument, my good sir. If you did watch SyFy, you would know that T2 and ID4 are only on once every couple of weeks. The rest of the programming schedule is filled with Ragin’ Cajun Redneck Gators; Mega Piranha; Mega Piranha vs. Cobragator;…

Ate at Commander’s Palace once, and the water refills are no joke. I took a long sip off my glass, and as I’m setting it down I noticed the water girl (there was one waiter whose job it was solely to keep the water glasses filled) watching me from down the hall. By the time my glass touched back down on the table, she…

I got a wild hair one night to just start mixing stuff up in the kitchen, and figured I’d try to make some sort of fruit smoothie, or fruit sauce, or ... something. I really just decided to throw a bunch of stuff in a blender and see what happened.

You ate an entire block of cream cheese? I’m not even mad I can’t top this. I’m impressed.

Not to mention he’s a college baseball player in the SEC. Maybe Missouri, a newcomer to the conference, has a different culture, but some of the hottest SEC WAGs are attached to the baseball teams.

The guy has paid more in taxes this year than I’ll make in the next 20 years combined.

Ah yes, the Coast Guard. I used to work with a Coastie and would try to get under his skin by referring to them as “The JV Navy.”

As much as I’d love to make a joke about Aaron Hernandez getting ass-raped by a 300-pound cellmate named “Lifetime,” somehow I doubt that’s the case. This dude, sadly, seems at ease with the criminal life. Whatever state pen he ends up in when the dust settles, I have a feeling he’s going to be running that mo’fo…

I’m with the guy who fished it out of the boat. You have the good fortune to stumble on a ball like that, that’s a life highlight.