This article is wrong.

OK, I could almost sign up for a Caddyshack rehash with her as the boorish outsider.

I think everyone should try picking up a box of these while they’re still around. Not like, figuratively picking up as in buying, but literally feeling how damned heavy the box is. It’s like picking up lead ore or something.

I grew up in Iowa but now live in California, and I tell people that tornadoes are like a house fire. Sure it could happen to you, but when it happens it doesn’t affect a lot of people at one time, so you’re prepared and then don’t worry too hard. Earthquakes are like a flood or hurricane where it hits a whole region…

You must not read the 5e books then. In the current set of modules one has a big focus on Kobolds, four have goblins in varying degrees (two or three of those have important story points attached to goblins), and one doesn’t have much of either. 

I’m running Lost Mines of Phandelver for an experienced group, and I’ve made it so the myriad goblins almost never start a fight. I leave it up to the party how they treat the goblins and if the players want to fight, they do. My goblins are sniveling cowards but also real big talking jerks. Also, it’s tons of fun if…

I should have mentioned that. Yeah, it was fully in the genre of Action-Comedy and succeeded well.

My first guess is that it belongs to one of the ne’er-do-wells that Ant Man hangs out with, but I’d be jazzed if it was a Hot Wheel brought to life size.

Yeah, I’m a straight cis white guy so I’m sure he thinks I’m on his team. I’ve been practicing a “You don’t know me as well as you think and you should watch your damn mouth” speech for a month now.

I’ve got a Fucking New Guy in my office these days, and he’s very excited that my bosses ‘don’t really do the whole PC thing’. Usually they’re just kind of crass and it’s fine, but FNG has stepped in it with me more than once already. First he said some transphobic shit in his first week that basically made me write…

SNES Super Mario Kart, Battle Mode Map 2 (we called it the swimming pool map). It’s got the perfect blend of cover, open space, and hideouts.

As near as I can tell no one is interested in making a scripted space flight sim like Wing Commander, X-wing, or Freespace these days. I don’t get it, either. Elite is fun enough, Star Citizen will someday be released, No Man’s Sky is reportedly becoming fun, but all those are sandboxy unscripted games. It’s not like…

I lived with a guy from Kenya one winter in Iowa. My other midwestern roommate and I would come home and he’d have cranked the thermostat to the maximum every day, and we’d die in the heat. One day we decided to open some windows just for relief and you could feel the thermocline at waist level - the temperatures were…

I went the birdsong route for a little bit on my phone, then got one of those Phillips sunrise alarms with birdsongs on it! It’s great, both the sunrise simulation followed by a quiet crescendo. I spent over 30 years being jolted awake by crappy digital alarm clocks and I couldn’t be happier.

My big DF story that I tell is the time I domesticated a dragon. One day the dragon wandered into the alcohol storage area and spotted a vermin of some sort (denoted in the ascii as a single period . ). The dragon decided to eliminate the vermin with its fire breath! That’s the day my fortress died when several…

My wife used to be an ER nurse, and she seen some shit. If you do get something stuck up your ass, just be straight with them immediately. It’s just going to piss them off to find out exactly why your stomach hurts after running tests and all the other bullshit. You know, and they’re going to know, so just get the…

I bought Betrayal at House on the Hill earlier this month. We played a 6-player session and it was a disaster. The rules are very if-this-then-that rather than universally applied. It’s supposed to take 1 hour for a playthrough but we instead gave it up in a draw after 2.5. I saw the potential, but I’m pretty sure I…

Iowa State (Jack Trice, represent) has indestructible goal posts. I’ve been on the field and watched them bend nearly horizontal with several dozen drunken kids hanging off them. It’s one of the many un-fun things that have happened to ISU since the mid-90's - my older brother helped a mob throw goal posts into the…

**INTERNET PEDANTRY ALERT** I just spent a bit of time thinking about why I didn’t like your ‘straight line’ connection. It’s because that’s the same thing as saying there’s a straight line between humans and gorillas. Feathered theropods are rad, to be sure though.

I would eat 7-up salad in an instant, but I’m white and midwestern. Guaranteed a double batch would get finished at a family gathering.