So, as the result of an extended drunken dare, I actually have an oil painting of myself as Empress Josephine. I feel compelled to defend myself by saying I’m an oil painter, was in art school at the time and have always loved history. I’m a bit queasy, but at least mine is a joke and has *never* been shown publicly.…

LOOOOOVVVVE all the comments about much gender reveal parties are lame.

I know this is bit what you were going for at all but now I just want to see Donald Trump having to make the trek up that stupidly epically long staircase from Utena only to find out there was an elevator everyone else who wasn’t a goddamn scmuck took. And then They laugh and laugh and laugh.

Fuck Dump and to hell with that. I was depressed too but by God, he’s not taking this country without a fight. We ain’t dead. Not even close.

I think you need to mute those fools on your newsfeed. Also:

Worked in the yard like a farmer on this stinking hot day. Now I’m showered, on the couch with the pups, about to drink a beer and watch the wonderful musical “1776" starring William Daniels, Ken Howard and Gwyneth’s mom.

Any other Jezzie Slytherins out there? We are simply misunderstood.

I’m thinking the Queen has shown in a very shady and effective way exactly what she thinks of the new government.

The first 15 minutes were quite lovely.

What an idiot.

Britain gets the hero it deserves!

It’s good to see at least one rich asshole isn’t just Putin on airs.

Thank goodness. I read it and a hillbilly voice in my head also whispered “taters” for some reason.

What about the greatest romance book of all time, Pounded in My Butt By My Book, “Pounded in the Butt By My Own Butt”?

Kellllllyanne, you don’t have to turn on the red light.
Those days are over, you don’t have to sell your soul to the right.
Kellllllyanne, you don’t have to face the press tonight.
Lobby Wall Street for money, you don’t care if it’s wrong or right.

My mom kept texting me about how much added SEX stuff there was and how they didn’t need the whole plot of Baby’s mom wanting to have sex with her husband. I was like, mom, you do realize there is a bunch of sex and sexual overtones in the original, right?

Sad!