In a dark room of the White House Press Office, Sean Spicer stares into a glass of gin. He brought his first bottle in when he took the job thinking a drink would be a good way to celebrate a good day or just to unwind after a particularly brutal press briefing. How many bottles ago was that? He couldn’t recall.

Gaga should do a “Telephone” performance with Beyoncé Skyping in from some insanely elaborate master bed setup.

The former are my parents. They were raised in the Deep South and my mother didn’t have indoor plumbing until she was a senior in High School — late 50's. Everything had to be COOKED, goddammit! Otherwise you might get sick.

But her e-mails.

Honestly, I really dig that haircut on dudes. *hides under desk*

Maybe the next letter from your alma mater begging you to donate so the football team can have colored lights in their showers or whatever shit.

No. CNN was the channel that was on when I turned on the TV to find something else and the rally was just starting.

Sorry but touting yourself as “moderately well-educated” while stating that you are presently writing your dissertation for not your 1st but your 2nd doctorate is the most ridiculous humble brag and also evidence that you are completely unaware of the average educational accomplishments of the world around you. Less…

Nevertheless, you persisted.

I want you to be my life coach.

Its like a great prophet once said;

I’m reading it now! Besides being hella interesting, it garners me the best nervous glances by my fellow train-commuters!

Denis Leary as Kellyanne Conway.

I just wanted to share this pic. Taken from twitter about the LGBT protest. The commitment of this is legit

Also wooo WA state! Really proud of our governor and AG right now. I know the federal judge was appointed by Bush (boy do I miss that fucker rn); kudos to him and kudos to Bob Ferguson for bringing the suit.

Omg is that what she really said to them at the time? I was a little girl when this happened but I remember being firmly Team Kerrigan because she was prettier than Harding and because children are monsters like that.

She went with him because he needs a carer, in case he’s out the house when his amphetamine-induced dementia sun-downing begins.