Anytime I find an unattended public TV in my office building; I block Fox News in the parental settings. Now I’m the only one with the password, and none of the assholes have apparently wanted to speak up to management to ask for their pablum back.

Have some member berries.

Can I also pray that Trump eats an entire 3-lb bag of sugar free Haribo gummy bears?

The moral of the story is NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOM.

The variance in those bulges begs a closer inspection and I am the woman for that job

Pretty much

You just explained my entire college career perfectly.

.

I’m just happy Downing Street doesn’t have an official pet pig.

Lady Mormont is the baddest little bitch and I love her.

“Sometimes I need to check my email while I’m at a concert so this would piss me off.”

.....actually LOVE Kate’s hat.....thank God they threw the Duchess of Pork’s spawn off the balcony.......or maybe my photo’s cropped.....

Or maybe you do?

There once was a girl from Nantucket
with talent as deep as a bucket.
She tried to “sound black”
and wrote songs like a hack
so they gave her a Grammy when they should have said “Fuck it.”

I have a total Churchill baby. He has three chins and could frown disapprovingly before he learned to laugh. All he’s missing is a cigar and a posh British accent.

Little Gregor Clegane