This guy is projecting so much we could point him at the wall and use him for power point presentations

I propose a petition to make the next presidential election decided by corgi race. No candidate speeches or debates, no attack ads, just fluffy corgi ads. Less hate, so much happy.

Pepe Le Homeless.

En fucking pointe.

It's also llllloooooooooooosssssssssseeeeeeeelllllllllyyyyyyyy based on real people. And DaVinci ended his days as the court painter for Francis I. (Who's son married Catherine de Medici, but carried on an extensive love affair with Diane de Portier. His and Catherine's eldest son is the Francis who married Mary Queen…

Kristof.

Usually I have decent reasons for my breakdowns so I don't think that counts. My daughter had one a couple weeks ago though. We are at the mall, going to meet her cousin at the play area. We've not been to this mall so I didn't see this coming - play area is on the second floor and there are no stairs. There is an…

When I was 13, my family took a trip to Mexico, and I was in a hormonal fog of angst and tears - like most teenage girls, I suppose. But the worst of it was when we were set to go on this recreated pirate ship. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Go. I couldn't even explain why through the tears as we were standing on the dock,…

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

Jeffrey's gonna love this.

I don't think you can judge based on the purchase from one set of Girl Scouts. Like most people in the world, he probably is inundated with thirty-some odd chances over the three weeks or so to buy Girl Scout cookies

I'd just go full Kanye all the damn time with these assholes.

I consume bottles of Frank's Red Hot with the fury, but after I'm done eating the actual meal, I make little puddles of it on my plate and lick it off my finger until my tongue is basically useless. Hurts so good.

The best smokescreen for gossip that Southerners (especially Southern Baptists) have come up with is the prayer request.

Being allergic to sunscreens is SO HARD. They're in everything now! I nearly lost my lips (well, it felt that way) not long ago, accidentally getting a lip balm loaded with some sunscreen or other I'm allergic to - I know titanium dioxide for sure is one of mine, maybe it was that. Blisters, peeling, it was…

A good many years ago, Fabio appeared at the grand opening of a pirate-ship-ish casino in Tunica, Mississippi. A girlfriend and I journeyed there, hoping to see him. We couldn't get into the crowd around the stage, but afterward as he walked through the casino, he passed within a few feet of us, and looked at us and…

Fabio, for all his immense fame, simply has not been on that large a percentage of the romance novel covers through history

DO NOT GOOGLE CANADIAN MILK o.O

That is a phrase that gets a high five automatically, you better have high-fived him.