I'm not having bridesmaids. I decided that a long time ago. It's unnecessary, it can look tacky, nobody likes their dress or the color and you just save them the money and responsibilities in the end if you don't have them, plus, you don't hurt people's feelings if you don't include them. My sister's best friend had…

At last, evidence that you should always bring Spears to a knife fight.

Seriously, the more you cook, the more opportunities you have to fuck up. I guess there are some people who perform with ballerina-like grace in the kitchen, but I'm not one of them. I cook a lot. I'm a great fucking cook. And I make a huge, hideous, splattery mess. The harder I try to adopt a manner of Zen-like calm,…