I was obsessed with the way she runs when she escapes from the mental institution in the beginning. Running doesn't even describe it, there was such a power and bounce to her step.

I know this isn't a meerkat post, but I just stumbled upon this cuteness and feel obligated to share.

It was for the best that Meerkat Manor ended. That show was fucking traumatizing.

If this is true, I think my cat is Marina Abramovic in a thrift store fur coat.

I went to Subway and my drink was in one of the Hunger Games cups. I was not an instant winner, but I did manage to kill six kids, so not bad.

"He was defending senior citizens from a bear and the bear ate it.

Warning... DO NOT try to combine the two massage techniques.

No croissants and bear claws for you.

Fuck the haters. I love my Crocs and was seriously disappointed that Boo is promoting the little charm thingies and NOT a line of doggie Crocs. Because I kinda want a pair for my dog.
Also, to all the people who are going to start jumping down my throat for loving Crocs, I DON'T CARE HOW THEY LOOK, they're simply the…

Yes.

Yes I wore a slinky red thing
Does that mean I should spread
For you, your friends your father, Mr. Ed

All you have to do is pee into a fountain the same time as a golden retriever, and the same time that lightning strikes it. Right? That's how he happened, right?

I can't even listen to the whole thing. It's just too bad.

It pretty much is. There's a little creek with glow worms under the bank overhangs and trout and eel in it and everything. If you're ever in New Zealand and looking for a place to stay in the bush, they have a B&B cottage too.

Whatever, new writer. "Dance With Me" is my jam and I refuse to hear otherwise. I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR.

It's whatever makes you feel bad about your own body.

I HATE HATE HATE the phrase "sending love and light." How does one send light? This is how I imagine it:

I always wanted to name my hypothetical babies after herbs or spices. Rosemary, Thyme, Clove, Montreal Steak Spice.

Yay! Cajun isn't on that list, so I'm cool? The premarital business...well, I'll just have to get that restorative hymen surgery.