I think the misunderstanding might have been that Jed York took “truckloads of Samoas” to mean a fresh crop of offensive linemen.

Look I know everyone wants to make this about “corporate greed” but I think Jed York is a pretty classy guy for not imposing a bunch of houseguests on Jim Tomsula.

Tom had the greatest Twitter burn of all time:

The only way a baby learns is if you read to it. You’ve heard the old saying: “Give a man a baby, he’ll read for days—teach a man to read, the library still closes at 10 p.m. and he’s not allowed to sleep there, sorry, but those are the rules.”

Buddy Ryan scores, earns two kids NFL jobs.

I feel like this story is missing some key information. If the dad promised them a puppy, and Ryan scored, how did they end up with a Polish guy?

Carson Palmer looked pretty drunk yesterday, too, but then again, he never actually drove anywhere.

“I’ll get a dream team of defense attorneys.”

Reached for comment, Kevin Love said, “I can’t really defend his firing. Or the job he did as coach. ...Actually, I can’t defend anything. Please don’t ask me to.”

I’ve been informed by Deadspin’s Florida bureau that this is not strictly “the woods” per se, and that Gainesville “just looks like that.”

Pete Carroll blamed the grass.

Not be debbie downer, but survival rates aren’t great for stage 4 throat cancer. Fuck cancer.

DREAM JOB

At least it was a short trip.

Not since Chris Kluwe’s last article on Deadspin has a Vikings kicker received such badly spelled feedback.

"Maybe we change our stance. Just this once, though."