I finished a PhD this time last year. Still unemployed. All I do is look for work, occasionally rage-stroke like Yosemite Sam, and read Deadspin. Do I fill out that Starbucks application or cut a novelty single?

“Mobile Dick seeks thee not. It is thou, thou, that madly seekest him!”

As a Russophile, that’s the best version of Crime and Punishment I’ve seen thus far.

I’m sure he also dropped this gem:

This needs more love.

That’s a G move. Respect.