It's like you read my mind.

Hochuli said he differentiated between the crown of the helmet and the hairline. The crown is the top of the helmet. The hairline is the top of the forehead.

Now if we could only get the NFL to admit that the roughing the wife and roughing the child calls were wrong.

I read that in the 'Something, something, Dark Side' voice. ^_^

You don't need any help. You win!

Requisite

"I'm 'bout ta fuggin keeel sumwun."

"I'm going to fucking kill someone."

The health insurance advertisement is the kicker, though.

Based on recent news items, I'd still recommend you run from the cops.

If you have to pretend to laugh at a guy's jokes to make him feel funny, he's probably not actually funny, and you should just give up on him. If you end up getting married, a few years down the road, you're going to end up stabbing him when he tells you yet another stupid joke that's not funny, because you just can't…

"He had me pay for everything" ...because he thought I was babysitting him

All I can picture is her grabbing dinner with an eighth-grader at the local Friendly's.

That wide-barrel curling iron got a fucking WORK OUT during the photo shoot for those Bachelor contestant profile photos.

A 25-yo cougar?

Tandra?

Who the hell buys this carp?

Titanic Two: Iceberg Boogaloo