Being married, to me, means legal documentation that you are forever committed and loyal to your best friend.

Yep, that's a fish ear. I thought they were a myth.

Are we sure these aren't just pulled from tinder?

Oh, yeah. Time for hors d'oeuvres! (Cue remix, and group dance.)

That's an entire wheel of cheese.

^Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

^Better explanation. Let's be friends.

I agree with every point you made, except in regards to seeking out diverse friendships. I don't believe that is inherently wrong, unless it is done for appearances. If you seek out friends from different backgrounds because you want perspective or friends who can introduce you to new social circles, that sounds…

Lupita would be my first choice, but she's been ignoring my clipped fan mail. Maybe Taylor will have better luck.

*Grammars really important.

Is that different than the St. Louis County Police Department? http://www.stlouisco.com/LawandPublicSa…

Ideally, humans should masturbate before any public appearance.

What kind of weirdo kisses with their eyes open?

Thanks for clearing that up for me.

I always thought Christopher Robin had imaginary friends, and the boy Milne is narrating/reading to (ala Princess Bride) is the one without friends. But it may be that he and the character Christopher Robin are the same. /confused

THURSDAY IS WHEN MY STORIES ARE ON!