Of course dogs cheat:

Hillary cheats like a fancy dog:

Welcome to Kinja.

They make up for it by saying it twice as much in private.

This is what Donald Trump says every time he looks at his polling numbers among African-Americans.

Well, it’s not like a Chiefs’ receiver is ever going to catch a TD pass.

Hey! He could have put somebody’s eye out with that towel.

Regarding tipping the scale in this election, this magazine cover seems to capture it perfectly:

I wouldn’t want to be the one to have to take over Trump’s keyboard and tweet for him:

If you’re a former NFL player, your brain definitely doesn’t go back that far.

So, two guys in the 76ers front office?

Would somebody take pity on the poor man and inform him that bowl haircuts are not a thing?

There are five eligible receivers (six if you include the QB). There’s the two guys standing back on the 35 yard line. There’s Crowell lined up off the line in sort of a TE position. There’s the guy on the line split wide left (top), and there’s the right-most guy of the three that are on the line to the right…

Why not? Nothing else is fucking working.

Given how badly this is going, someone should Fire Fox.

Was it long enough that he had to go see his doctor?

That Bon Jovi song is apropos, as “Livin’ on a Prayer” perfectly describes the Leafs feelings about landing a playoff spot this season.

If you have more A’s on your truck than grades, you might be a Bama fan

A little-known corollary to this rule is that they also won’t give rings and jackets to former players with CTE because, well they won’t know the difference.

Who knew that you could get Vegemite in San Antonio?