HBO execs probably can’t wait for Simmons’ deal to be up, since by the Ewing Theory, their sports programming will get better after he leaves. No wait, Bill would have to be good at what he does for the Ewing Theory to apply.

If he was a pussy, wouldn’t Donald have grabbed him instead of slapping him?

Without saying a word, his father slapped him across the face, knocking him to the floor in front of all of his classmates.

I agree with your first point. As to your second point, we’ll have to judge that the first time it happens.

If playing collegiate soccer was the most important thing their lives (and it’s pretty sad if so), then perhaps they shouldn’t have risked losing it by doing something stupid like this, then not cooperating with the investigation. And you do realize that playing sports is a privilege, not a right.

This is probably the best urine sports championship ever.

Clearly, Dekker is a big fan of Disney’s High School Musical:

Here’s a picture of the Baylor University regents:

...the Cleveland Indians, who will be running out a light fixture and Andrew Miller against the Cubs’ Jake Arrieta and Aroldis Chapman.

Same reason there aren’t cameras in every stadium dedicated to out of bounds, endzone and similar views for replay purposes.

+1 nuke

I’m disturbed by the revelation that Drew actually researches his takes, given how so many of them relate to pooping.

If some girl is like “Ewwwwww! Tammy’s new boyfriend went poopy! PARTY FOUL!”, fuck ‘em.

I got that security pass earlier this year, and it’s worth the $85 fee just to feel like a god when you bypass the plebian security line for the festival of khakis parading through the scanner with their shoes still on.

I would worship those aliens like Christ himself. I’d get down on my knees and grovel at their feet...

While I appreciate his support, someone should really tell Pence that Pedro Martinez was already voted into the Hall of Fame.

He should have known better than to try to sing an ABBA song.

That is the facial expression of every Brexit supporter upon finding out that the vote was binding and not just advisory.