I wouldn’t want to be the one to have to take over Trump’s keyboard and tweet for him:

If you’re a former NFL player, your brain definitely doesn’t go back that far.

So, two guys in the 76ers front office?

Would somebody take pity on the poor man and inform him that bowl haircuts are not a thing?

There are five eligible receivers (six if you include the QB). There’s the two guys standing back on the 35 yard line. There’s Crowell lined up off the line in sort of a TE position. There’s the guy on the line split wide left (top), and there’s the right-most guy of the three that are on the line to the right…

Why not? Nothing else is fucking working.

Given how badly this is going, someone should Fire Fox.

Was it long enough that he had to go see his doctor?

That Bon Jovi song is apropos, as “Livin’ on a Prayer” perfectly describes the Leafs feelings about landing a playoff spot this season.

If you have more A’s on your truck than grades, you might be a Bama fan

A little-known corollary to this rule is that they also won’t give rings and jackets to former players with CTE because, well they won’t know the difference.

Who knew that you could get Vegemite in San Antonio?

HBO execs probably can’t wait for Simmons’ deal to be up, since by the Ewing Theory, their sports programming will get better after he leaves. No wait, Bill would have to be good at what he does for the Ewing Theory to apply.

If he was a pussy, wouldn’t Donald have grabbed him instead of slapping him?

Without saying a word, his father slapped him across the face, knocking him to the floor in front of all of his classmates.

I agree with your first point. As to your second point, we’ll have to judge that the first time it happens.

If playing collegiate soccer was the most important thing their lives (and it’s pretty sad if so), then perhaps they shouldn’t have risked losing it by doing something stupid like this, then not cooperating with the investigation. And you do realize that playing sports is a privilege, not a right.

This is probably the best urine sports championship ever.