I am a Costco member, but the gas lines are always so long that I gave up trying to buy gas there. 

Prove it.

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

Totally - why bother trying to stop any air pollution unless you stop every single instance of it at once?

Based on what he says, if any of that sweat is on his back he is gonna get deported.

Because cocaine is famously unavailable in Miami. 

If we HAVE to stand for a specific song, and HAVE to put our hands on our hearts or risk getting jacked are we really free?

Higher chance of him having to eat a bear’s ass in prison

Don’t click. Not that hard. 

Ah yes, person-who-doesn’t-know-the-rules trying to project their lack of knowledge on someone else, and looking even dumber than otherwise. Always a classic.

What about the ethics of a pitcher who pulls a Busch-league move like swiping at the first baseman's glove?

Lay off the Provel, man.

Dude I’m assuming you’re an adult. When you make a plural from Ferrari to Ferraris it doesn’t have an apostrophe. The apostrophe typically indicates a possessive. There are a bunch of variables so I’m not going to get into it, but the simple rule is do not use an apostrophe when you simply want to refer to multiple…

Well, it’s not every day you meet a woman named Artura.

Yeah, other WYTS columns include jokes; this one is just a list of facts.

Nearly everyone restaurant in Chicago that isn’t a national chain cuts its thin crust pizza into squares.  This is the proper way to cut pizza.

I was tempted to give it the benefit of the doubt because I once got a blowjob in the parking lot of the Rooster T Feathers comedy club, but then I realized Rooster T Feathers is in Sunnyvale, not Santa Clara.

That was before someone asked “where will our customers put their golf clubs?”.

What about my comment would suggest I wasn’t aware of the current state of things?

Denouncing racism and bigotry unequivocally ≠ talking about politics