Wow, your ignorance is astounding. Cal is actually Berkeley, a far more prestigious school academically than ND, as is Stanford. And Duke is a private school.

On the second mention of the Toyota Pickup, shouldn’t that say 1993 rather than 1999?

Fucking dirt worshiping cocksuckers. Better than getting traded to the Yankton Snatches though.

I’m with you, See’s tastes like unsweetened brown crayons

It is snow machine in Alaska, but not sure about eastern Canada.

This is brilliant and needs more stars.

As a lapsed Catholic, I think this is fairly accurate. Other things the official church believes in include evolution and the big bang. The Vatican’s science department is pretty fascinating to peruse. Now if things could filter down to the priests on the ground.

Here’s mine in Raleigh (California front plate is rusted on!)

Hey Torch, you should run down to Wilmington to check this LUV out.

It’s offensive to all Mattel toys, even Hot Wheels. Don't let Jalopnik hear of this.

As I recall, my dad's 74(?) Town Car had four cigarette lighters. One up front, one in the center back, like pictured here, and one in each back seat armrest.

This actually calls for a follow-up with both Torch and Tracy taking it for a ride and discussing both the VW and off-road aspects.

Cool. Glad that the real name got in there, especially given that rant!

One of my favorites is how Tony Diaz complains about a bad word in a headline in the first email, and then follows up with a full bore racist tirade.  

When I was six or seven in the sixties, my mom had a part-time job at a junkyard and I hung out with with the owner’s grandsons during the day. He ran sprint cars in the Midwest and bought one of these for the kids. Holy crap, it was fun (and scary). To his credit, he did rig up a five point harness for it using old…

In nearby Durham, Fullsteam Brewery has this.

If your side mirrors can see the headlights of a vehicle directly behind you, your mirrors are not adjusted correctly.

I think any viable NFL draft prospect should skip the Polly Pocket Hobby Lobby Leaf Blower bowls unless, maybe, it’s one of the playoff games. Maybe.

Somehow that face reminds me of the Boston Dynamics "dog" robot.

As the good doctor said Purple Pig is great and there are lots of choices, but if booze is also on the menu, I wouldn’t pass up Untitled in River North. It’s an amazing place. 111 Kinzie, black door next to the CVS.