Those rough trade boys don’t like using protection.

I hate bitchy queens like aunt Lindsey!

“I have trace amounts of truck driver, though...”

I’d love to see him reveal his results on live TV:

what about Jerry makes you cringe?

How many great shows does Mike Schur have to [co-]create before NBC just goes to him when they want to fill a time slot?  I’m sure he can come up with something better than a reboot of a copy of a UK comedy.

I have a personal story of implausible circumstance about the 1989 film.

If Rose and Kanye ever team up, I’m moving to Manitoba.

I miss Cactus Janet.

Fine, cunt, vote for Kavanaugh. You know what you didn’t need to do? Shit in my soup and point out the individual aromas emanating from it. I’m glad Susan Collins worked so hard to please her GOP colleagues. Does it make her feel good to peddle conspiracy theories, does she think she will excite her GOP base? We…

Hitchcock and Scully are comedy gold. They are used in perfectly limited proportions and their bits never fail to to be funny.

Why is she responsible for her brother’s company one she has no affiliation with whatsoever? Do you have any siblings. I would rather be fed to piranhas than held responsible for my siblings actions or politics. All you can do is control yourself.

Pretty sure he wrote that himself, and Jost is head writer.  

Pete Davidson joked about replacing Ari’s BC with Tic Tacs or something, she told him to shut up.

You can take the crazy bitch out of Fox News, but you can’t take the Fox News out of the crazy bitch. 

Positive.

“the blaze caused $8.2 million in damage” “He was ordered to pay $220,000 in restitution”

I’m surprised that the gun enthusiast community hasn’t figured out that using your guns like toys is not a good look. If you are trying to convince the general population that the right to bear arms is worth the cost in innocent civilian lives maybe playing around and blowing shit up for no reason is counterproductive.

The stupidest timeline