She was naïve about cars but wanted a 4cyl Accord? Bless her. My friends don’t know shit about cars, but they do dumbass shit like buy a used 5 year old Mitsu Outlander Sport that needs 10 seconds of full throttle to merge, or a 3 year old Sentra base model that needs the battery replaced the first winter they own it.

He was probably insinuating that she was a sleut, anyway. ;)


(j/k, obviously)

$150,000/month?

Definitely a face that only a congressman taking defense contractor kickbacks could love.

Excuse me, but WTF is the problem? They’re married. Jesus didn’t say shit about having an OnlyFans! Being Christian must be hard.

Pointless. What almost everyone wanted was to blame wind power, not actual help.

Eh, I’d rather not go viral at all - positive or negative, it’s all 100% toxic.

Well, this probably explains why no one has. What is the point of poking a dragon when said dragon is off their meds? WW 3is all fun and games until the nuclear winter arrives.

Oh you think it’s so simple?!? I guess five minutes on the internet is all it takes to get your honorary degree in showerology and cleansengineering.

I was half-way through a degree in hospitality management when I looked around at the management at the hotel where I worked and saw a bunch of burned-out 30-somethings.

I also forgot to add:

4.) Never EVER put you feet on the dash. My wife, before she was my wife, would do that. I would try to explain to her that I didn’t want her feet up there, and that if we were to have an accident, the air bags would drive her tibia into her brain. She would stop doing it for a while, then she’d…

This is exactly it. Path of least resistance. Why deliberately make driving more stressful/dangerous than it needs to be?

Maybe it’s because for most of my life I drove crapcans that didn’t have the power or safety to let me take risks, but I always try to go with the flow because it’s not worth it to shave a few extra…

This. I call it “Taking the Path of Least Resistance”. Yielding left turns across multiple lanes of traffic are tops on the nasty accident list, and will get your passenger(s) killed. Plan ahead and make right turns into & out of driveways, and your left turns at traffic lights.

But at least you understand the meaning of farming.

I used to have a bunch of rules and care more about the cleanliness of my vehicles, but with the amount of humans I have to shuttle around on a daily basis, plus my own questionable habits (there are probably enough french fries and Goldfish cracker crumbs under the seats to feed a family of pigeons for a year) and…

Don’t leave a one car length gap at stops.

Don’t expect other drivers to be “courteous” to you because you want to do stupid things. It’s not my problem that you want to make a left out of the gas station at a busy intersection. Make a right like an adult and go around the block. It’s not my problem that you need to be in the left turn lane on a 4 lane road…

I know a guy who triple majored in philosophy, sociology and anthropology. He took six or seven years to get a bachelor's and last I heard was teaching English various places overseas. 

I have a degree in philosophy!  See my earlier comment about being a farmer...

A degree in English literature from a private university.  It’s also the most expensive.