Welcome to 2022, where the WALL STREET JOURNAL asks you to reflect and make a public statement about internet comments from a six-month-old Instagram post - and you’re ready with a multi-paragraph response

“Aspire” relates more to intent than success, consistency, or concentration of effort; I know we tend to use the word in the context of either trying something you’ve not yet achieved or having failed to complete said aspiration, but the word still fits and applies. Blazing Saddles aspired to comment on the bigotry is…

Nowhere did he say that any part of Blazing Saddles shouldn’t exist, just that parts of it hit different today. If anything, he’s making the point that an R-rated movie from 48 years ago is somehow more progressive than its own 2022 remake aimed at kids.

Shut the fuck up chud

She was the best thing in No Time to Die.

DEEP IN THE HUNDRED ACRE WOOD

Something we have to come to grips with, pretty soon, is that one half of this country honestly thinks dead kids is fine. There’s something in their brain chemistry that burns up so much mental gasoline on fear, for themselves and their immediate family, that they have less than zero empathy for anyone outside that…

Is Kim’s mom really a “lover of great 80s music”, or does she just have the radio on in 1983?

There are multiple full sentences here that barely hang together with any sort of meaning at all. I thought the wheels came off circa the Kinjapocalypse but there might be something much worse afoot.

What’s funny is that this morning I read an article on Gawker about how the herbs running G/O Media want to drive the quality of their sites into the ground by prioritising ads, slideshows, and fluff pieces over journalism, and they’re doing it by driving away all the talent and replacing them with hacks. You can…

Glad it wasn’t just me.

You could go meta and start jerking off to their outrage.

The star was quoted as saying “If this isn’t the best movie in history, may I be struck by lighting!” before being struck by lightning.

[monocle-popping grunt]

[chortled grunting]

Hahahahahaha. No.

Yeah, honestly I regret the wording of my post. I kind of wanted to emphasize that Japanese theatres are quiet so it was easy to pick up the laughing, not that Japanese people in general would laugh at Rey. I think it was just a strange mix of people at the screening.

I was having a pretty good day today. I’d aborted over a dozen babies, I’d gotten a couple of conservative co-workers fired for “hate speech”, and so for lunch I decided to visit Wendy’s. Not to purchase any food—like my fellow elites I only eat artisan kale salads prepared by women in hijabs— but rather to mock the…

Let’s get real here for a moment. The UFP of supposed to be a kind of worldwide government that represents all of earth. White people only represent about 15% of the earth’s population, roughly one billion or so, between the US and Europe. (Canada and Australia’s populations are too small to be statistically…