I didn’t realize Art Institutes were for profit. I know in my business we recruit heavily from their Culinary Arts program, they seem to generate quality employees. We’ve had some success.

“Which I suppose is to be expected.”

I worked in a hotel they stayed in. The kids stayed in a suite and the parents had a joiner (If I remember correctly.) What I remember for certain is the kids made such a mess of the suite that it took the housekeepers almost 3x as long to clean it as ususal. No damage, fortunately, just quite dirty. Which I suppose…

If the conversation were about basketball, as a Butler grad, I’ve lived this. Nothing makes me gloat quite like the “Academic” and “Graduation Rate” final four brackets they do every year that BU comes out in the final four of. But our fan base is too small to qualify for any of these discussions.

They check out of the hotel before the game on Sunday, so they aren’t even coming back afterwards and trying to sort out any gaffes. They get in Thursday evening or Friday and have film reviews throughout the day Friday/Saturday. There really isn’t any time for them to improve, and really no reason to keep them…

Yeah, I sold out, still in hospitality though, made the leap to hotels. Unless you’re in Denver and need part time help, which I have been trying to do just for fun. You can take the man out of the restaurant but you can’t take the restaurant out of the man.

Oh, good, I’ll get to still read you as an Esquire subscriber. Can you take Magary with you so I don’t have to wander over to the awfulness that is GQ to find his other work?

I’m going to give ESPN props, they’re selling this game, unabashedly as...

When I was tending bar I kept track of faces. Even when the bar was two or three deep, you see a new face and make a plan to get to them expediently. It’s tough to balance taking care of your regulars, your non-regular good tippers, and overlook the assholes once or twice before getting back to them and then work the…

It shouldn’t irritate a good bartender, you only accidentally piss off one recovering alchoholic with this atitude, one. That’s enough “I’m a dirtbag feeling” for a lifetime.

It’s easier than this. If there are thick rubber mats laying on the flat of the bar, you don’t belong there.

That’s why there are a number of blank ones. My deck includes a write in for “Mashed Potatoes and Piss” I’d tell the story, but its likely only funny to my friends and I.

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, is by any estimation the most enjoyable whistling ever.

Fuck Top Golf and their absurdly low tees.

Frankly, I don’t know why teams use backup quarterbacks to field the long snap when backup QBs are so important now.

The ridiculous thing was playing prevent in a situation like that. If you’re going to just give them the field goal to win the game anyway, none of this matters.

I haven’t had a pizza roll in quite sometime, but the roof of my mouth hurts just reading this. Pizza Rolls are stuffed with napalm, delicious napalm.

Call it maple bitters. You’ll make a mint.

1. Getting hit by a car

As soon as I saw TJ Yates, I knew we were losing. He’s, for some reason, the Bengal slayer.