I’m torn between wanting to ask for details and wanting to bleach my brain and never imagine this again. Let’s go with “thank for the imagery let us never speak of this again"

START A JIZZ TASTING WEBSITE

“hi, i’d like to cancel my rice pudding, please!” - carrie bradshaw

Pffft. They didn’t meet when he catcalled her. They met when he negged her at a fake party. MUCH more romantic.

That cover of Alessandra is straight out of the tacky 80s. The Trump 80s, come to think of it.

So MTV is showing this guy, who is clearly crazy, video footage of her saying that she was planning on leaving him, and bringing him on the show after she cheated on him which will obviously result in him finding out? Why do I feel like MTV would love the ratings boost of a domestic violence murder but publicly say…

Best erotica ever read. 10/10 would masturbate to this again.

This is why whenever I need to get some food, I just go to the supermarket and hang out by the checkout. I get to be in close proximity to people who have food, which is the same as having it, yourself.

Hell, it’s not even trickle down economics anymore. Apparently, you’re supposed to just be happy to be in the physical vicinity of that kind of money.

Don’t worry, Rocco, just wait until you’re 24 and you can lie in bed on a Sunday morning, eating three different types of cake for breakfast and resenting the fucked up relationship with food you have as a result of your mother’s crazy diet restrictions. Or something.

Why can’t they see how insulting this is to men? Must feminists be the only man-defenders?

My small-chested friend’s favorite thing to do is point out men walking around topless with bigger boobs than her. After years of draconian dress codes at school and in the work place, it never stops being funny.

Accidental discharge = doesn’t utilize proper firearm techniques = negligent training

Anyone who accidentally shoots a person shouldn’t be a police officer.

If they own them jointly and he says no, that should be the end of it. What’s even going though your mind to try and force your ex to have more kids with you?

“causing a disturbance in the hospital with her language and the volume of her voice”

Five years.

No, no, what they mean is, women go in for HIV testing, and then they get the hard sell, and upgrade to an abortion.

“Think about those kids in Los Angeles who last week had their entire district closed because of a threat. Think about what they felt like the next day when they went back to school. Did they feel completely comfortable? Did they feel like they were safe? How did their mothers and fathers feel when they sent them to…

So, he questioned her intelligence, then reduced her to her appearance. Way to go. I think we can draw some strong conclusions here.