“Hi! My name’s Dan Whitney and I went to private school in Florida.”

I’d like to extend my sympathy to the White Sox on their embarrassment:

Is she related to Mike Huckabee? Because she’s a terrible human being and she shares her maiden name with him.

I don’t like to think of it as lazy. It just likes to go its own direction.

So you want a new one then?

When it comes to making a debut pitching with young bears, John Travolta has him beat by decades.

This is the second comment I’ve seen questioning whether a donut is a breakfast item, although your criteria for not automatically including it seems to be for health reasons. But if that was the criteria, a lot of food most people eat wouldn’t be considered appropriate. A donut is as much a breakfast item as a bowl…

DingDingDing!!! We have a winner! Carl was in all kinds of Subway ads, not just in NASCAR. He appeared alongside other sports athletes across all platforms.

Wow. That sucks, brought to you by Carl’s Jr.

Makes sense a Redskin has reservations.

Lazy rendering right?

This is the single worst take in the history of language.

A Marge Shott shot. I did not see that coming.

I haven’t seen an owner act this entitled toward a player since Marge Schott.

Summer rules. Fall is decline. Winter is bad.

White Americans revolted over unfair taxation and killed over 75,000 to achieve their freedom.

Tip: If it’s only half a worker, he’s not sleeping.

Big deal. I found half of a sleeping UAW worker under the 3rd row of my Traverse.

hold my stethoscope

I’m considerably white, so not really qualified to answer that.