I was awake this morning, when I realized I should be asleep. Usually, when I realize this, I go back to sleep. But this morning, I kept my eyes open. It was with this open eye that I saw the baby watering its bed, I called to him, "Baby stop, I should be asleep. You should too." - it just won't work. I meditated…

there was a show on discovery years ago that had two dudes that built stuff out of aircraft parts... from my limited recollection, the stuff was cool, but way over priced. This, looks about the same.

Robot wants to eat it wounds... protected by wrapping its head with plastic rubber cone? Wait a second? Is that the robots ass?

Fly Fishing... There is a joke there, but I am not in the mood.

would it not be more telling to look at individual pitch count per player per game per league and compare that to the average pitch count per player per game average, then compare the teams with the most individuals above the average and below?

Oddly, I am reminded of an apple being a punchline, not as something that is red or green and that tends to be eaten, which comforted me. A simple word, apple, functioning outside of form... socialist societies could never seem to figure out how that works.

How great would it be to sign him and then trade him to Utah or Milwaukee... Oh, that would be amazing! F LaFlop

it was like I was trying to read Japanese with my eyes closed - nothing, blank, dark, nothing, maybe dust riding across my eyelid? I laughed out loud when i thought about reading Japanese with my eyes closed. I shook my head, because reading Japanese with my eyes closed is not laugh out loud funny, I just wanted…

I had just done some unspeakable shit, in a relatively nice car, near a beach, and needed to stretch, started talking out load to myself because I could not hear myself think, "{muffled}"... Fuck, I'm def now.

it was like, a homeless man who may or may not have at one point in his life been a farmer, who's age befuddled me, and still had hair, I was thinking "Mother fucker why the fuck am I bald, even this homeless farmer has god da..." as he interrupted me saying, "look buddy I can get you as far as Santa Marta, but you…

I went to see the headstone, assholes never pick up the fallen sticks, and my god with the grasshoppers and mosquitoes! I looked at the writing and thought, they spelled her name right, no one ever spelled her name right. I had had a jacket on, but it got jacked, so I was sweating, but I had a t-shirt on and…

If you are doing any physical activity other than walking or eating during lunch, and then re-hydrating with coffee, water, or diet soda, then you probably can appreciate what I am talking about and you work for a living; and if your lunch does not resemble that at all, you are probably an insufferable fool who has no…

at a glance, he looked like any other sliver spoon frat boy date rapist, but she was broke and so were her parents. she decided to see if she could break up his impending marriage to Penny.

I looked at my office managers shoes and thought, she should not be wearing those... but I said nothing, nor did anything, lest she sue me and my company for sexual harassment. So I smiled and sat down at my desk.

Some people who were once famous, married, and left of left asked me to play ping pong, but I am not very good so I didn't play.

Stole some loot out of a safe and threw it out the second floor window... jumped down after it without breaking shit. Made me pretty happy.

X2 on Thinking, Fast and Slow, after about 185 pages, it gets... s. l. eeeeeeping slow.

If only we lived in an animated world with zeeblers and wookies... then everything would be just fine.

DAMN IT!! You write "Mopar add-on for the Cherokee..." and I got excited. My Cherokee's hood is scratched to hell, for $300 this solves my problem! Then I go to the site, and it is only the NEW {cough} Cherokee. Damn it. Rattle can it is...

lots of people hitting you with reply's.... but I just had to chime in. You are dead right on the firmness test. 20 years ago I learned a similar thing but I used the top of the hand between the pointer finger and thumb. Later on I learned the one referenced above. I have cooked in steakhouses and was a manager of…