There is certainly a good joke to be made between his douche-stance and the motion the soldier might be making, but I couldn’t quite come up with it this morning.

It’s like his mom stitched his name into all his clothes before she sent him off to summer camp.

“Oh sorry. Kouchebag, it is, then.”

“Can I sit in the driver seat, and go ‘Vroom vroom, pow-pow-pow, eeeeeeee=boom!” just like papa-in-law did in that truck? I want to be a big boy!”

You just came up with his perfect nickname: Jared Douche-ner.

God bless you for this...and for your kinja handle.

Also hidden? The fucking wood-handled umbrella that you just know he’s carrying.

+1 Mark of the Wolves.

Which makes me think that he wore it just so so that it would cover it up.

You know who else is a fucking asshole? Whoever decided to add infinite scrolling to Kinja websites. I hope they get fired.