He's actually standing in this picture. 

Yes, but this team just looks worse. They used to start slow and pick it up, now they just look slow. Oldest roster in the league, the window looks shut and Wentz’s deal really kicks in next year so not much cap space to fix.

Dallas has yet to beat a good team this season.

“That’s what we said!”

I, objectively, subjectively, have no fucking clue what the hell I just read.

OH, I get it now. The four pillars is what holds up our planet. It’d have to be flat because if it were round, it’d just roll right off.

Those are only two of the four pillars. 

He’s going to write in Jaden Smith

Pretty sure Bevo is better off as a mascot, too.

Huh, I’m surprised this happened in Oklahoma. I expect this kind of outcome more for wagons in Oregon.

Oh so its funny when they fall off the wagon, but not when I do?

Can we stop with the whole real animals as college mascots thing?

Let alone, respectively.

He’s getting to be more meta world peace than Metta World Peace himself 

At least he tried to sound smart, I guess?

Somewhere, Emmitt Smith nods wisely.

Especially when it is Harper.

It shouldn’t be possible for me to hold these two opinions simultaneously - I suppose I’m a massive hypocrite.

I’ve developed an in depth headcanon for the Nationals postseason run that has escalated to them being aided by an army of spectral Expos repaying their debts to their baseball kin they failed before they can find their rest.

Like like the Cardinals got swept The Right Way.