My plan is to troll these assholes and put that I (a citizen) am not a citizen on my census form. It would be sweet if everyone else does that too

“I am very pleased to welcome the opioid memorial to the President’s Park in April. I encourage all to visit and remember those who we have lost to this deadly epidemic. We will keep fighting until we defeat the opioid crisis!” 

Mitt, if you have to change constantly(!!!!) to get certain people to like you, they’re not really your friends...

It’s called a “big boy” pee. Get with the program.

Ian rapoport has a fan?

had been worrying for a while that Anthony Hopkins was losing it a little with age

“Holy shit! That’s Tony Romo!”

I’m far more disturbed to learn that this miserable jerk was one of your childhood heroes.

If true, all future references to the Vice President should be styled, “Self-described motherfucker Mike Pence.”

Let he who has never drunkenly pissed behind a car door cast the first kidney stone.

Belle “turned around and shaked his genitals” at a man who complained and his daughter.

What kind of 5 year old piss-wizards are you hanging out with?

He’s lucky he wasn’t at a Lions game. Someone would have dove in to make a salad.

Artists rendering of the arrest:

I might be in the minority here, but I have not had the urge to stop and photograph a man pissing.

Why do assholes always hang out in the parking lot?

What a rookie move. Anyone who’s ever tailgated knows you have to also open the driver’s side backseat door to create total cover.

Oh man. If my 5 year old sees this, he’ll never know you can take a piss without pulling your pants all the way down.

The awkward “LOL GTF AWAY FROM ME” face she makes is gold.