It was a great ruse while it lasted, but raging about a dead man day after day is a bridge too far. You have given up the bit.

12!!!

How dare we hold POTUS to a standard higher than internet commenter!

“I like funerals for guys who didn’t die”

Yeah, I know he out performed expectations. I know it was Texas. Doesn’t matter. If you lose to a human blob fish who sucks up to a man who bullied his wife, I never want to hear from you again.

Robert Mueller is awful?

I know with Trump it’s always personal and he hates McCain for kick-starting what would become the Mueller investigation and he hates Mueller for doing the actual investigating, but....Trump really adds a vicious touch when his target is an accomplished, living, breathing example of what he pretends to be.

If I couldn’t outperform Ted Cruz* in any worthwhile pursuit known to man, I would avoid public attention for the rest of my life.

Milton had a lot of secrets so his lawyer will only let enough out to win.

Trump invokes being elected when he wants to do things that are antithetical to a democracy, and he does so without any sense of irony or self-awareness whatsoever.

/Trump’s fingers hover over his phone

Fine, mom, I’ll put on some sunscreen. Happy now?

“Say what you will about Steve King, but his grave sure can absorb a lot of piss.”

1/10

The other side?

Speak up, son, your mom’s blowjobs are pretty loud.

[my left or your left?]

This is definitely Australia paying us back for something. Probably The Simpsons Australia episode.

A little fresh air will do his brain a world of good.

It’s my understanding that it is important to choose the correct barbaric religion in these matters. It’s really the only way to tell the difference between a good Christian barbarian with a gun and an evil Islamic barbarian with a prayer mat.