Keith Richards cannot be killed with conventional weapons.

Alternate alternate theory: actually died years ago but still too drunk and stoned to notice.

After George Michael, I thought “well, hopefully this extremely fucking awful year has taken it’s last one,” but apparently 2016 is as mean as fuck.

Classy, beautiful and dignified are all code for white, white and white. The funny thing is Melania can’t be bothered with any of these people and would rather divorce Donald than move into the White House and have to do the duties of the First Lady. Can you imagine her in West Virginia shaking hands with these people…

Oh, good, labial split pussy bows are back in fashion!

“I guess I’ve been living in a bubble. [Pence] sounds like a tyrant, they remarked.”

Trump especially loses his shit when he perceives classic NY institutions STILL rejecting him despite how rich, successful, powerful he becomes (see obsession with Vanity Fair, SNL, NY Times, etc.). It’s like returning to a class reunion and the cool kids who picked on you in high school still treat you like a schmuck…

In my day we did coke like ladies.

Soooo...Mt St. Helens seems like it should be hot but is actually cold inside?

“Dude, I still have bad dreams because of what you did to me.” / “I’m sorry, who are you again? I don’t think I remember ever doing anything to you.”

My daughter slept on the floor for 3 months. She was not even 2 and had transitioned fairly easily to a toddler bed 3 or 4 months prior... and one night wouldn’t get in bed and fell asleep on the floor. We shrugged and figured it was a 1 night thing. 3 months later after setting up multiple beds every night (maybe…

A sleepover can be hugely influential. Can make a kid kick the pull-ups, too. Nothing like peer pressure!

Parenting is a continuous exercise in picking your battles.

Like I told my friend earlier when he sent this article to me, you know how to fix that mess you made? Invite a friend over for a sleepover and see how embarrassed your kid is to want to have her sleepover in her parents’ room. That will end that shit REAL fast.

Brad’s present to all of his younger female costars:

I am absolutely devastated.

I love horror/thriller movies. They are my favorite genre. But, like many women, I’ve been sexually assaulted. It’s hard to find a good horror movie that does not involve the sexual assault of a woman. I’m not sure why; it’s such a lazy ass trope that is used entirely too often.

Seriously. I’m not sure how accurate they are (as is the case with any study), but some “studies have shown” that men who consume large amounts of porn can’t even get it up for “real” women anymore. They look at a certain very unrealistic ideal and no flesh and blood woman can fulfill that fantasy.

Yeah- I absolutely think that some porn can be fun (and we’ve always had some form of it as a culture), and also that suppressing/denying it probably isn’t the way to do. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t a lot of disturbing shit out there, and I am very curious about how it has affected how people 25 and under view…

this baby nero looks like he’d slit my throat to use my blood as rouge. no.