Read your book, loved it! No question, just praise.

@SaraRueful: She was fondling the vegetables, doing a Marion Wormer.

This lacks a certain romantic majesty. Diarrhea-style texting? Whatever happened to flowers delivered to work?

Erm, what the Peys knows about anything "cocky" will just about fit in the crack of my azz.

@Michael Dukakis the cautiously optimistic Mets fan: How the mighty have fallen.

@BookishLookish: Seven minutes and not a single dick joke. Sigh. I am wasted here, as you were, fellas.

How do you think the first facial happened? Like back in prehistory, some large-browed Neanderthal lady was giving a blowy and it was too big for her mouth and sort of popped out at the last second and she got a surprise. Her equally large-browed Neanderthal boyfriend kinda dug the spectacle and asked for it again,…

@Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: No, my limited knowledge of this particular subset of middle Europe is contained to the East Coast.

@Chris Hanson's Axe: Thank you. *doe eyes*

@Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: Um, nothing "supposedly" about it, we called him Czech Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself. If that's the same guy.

Popping over from the Gawk to say that I got maybe half the references but it still made me howl. Good job, Chad S. Love to love you, baby.

She reminds me of what Cher looked like, before she started having all that work done. A dark-haired Armenian beauty. Amen.

Dear Madonna,

@BookishLookish: photographer, that is.

If any of these boys were my son and I saw these photos, I would thrash the photograph and scrawling accomplices within inches of their miserable lives.

She is doing it her way, and I give her credit for that. I just find "her way" extremely tedious and boring. Lousy actress, annoying pop singer. So many other performers are so much more interesting and talented, yet are also modest—the mark of a true artist: humility.

@Vivi21: As we saw with Joseph McCarthy. Cunning and evil often go hand-in-hand.

It's getting really cold here. LA looks beautiful. Sigh.

Dear Jesse,

Never tuck your boots into your pants unless you are wading through shit and those boots are made of rubber and go up to your ass.