Unimpressed. He used his hands.

Typical of soccer to have an important match decided in a shootout.

DM Trump: “You enter the yuge room. Roll for save.”

This is good, but the author needs to get the formula of the Trump tweet a little better.

Well they’re all fucking each other, so probably.

Nothing says Jesus like getting a plug in for your brand, then having one of family members shit out the national anthem

There would have been, but Tony Stewart killed him.

Duck Dynasty and NASCAR all in one spot? Was anyone in the crowd not related to each other?

On the other hand, you get A LOT of practice writing passive-aggressive notes, which you could spin into a nice line item on your CV.

Surely you can smuggle some in? The nursing home my mom used to volunteer at had this bullshit no booze policy, and all one of the ladies (in her 90s, no family around) there wanted for Christmas was a nice bottle of red wine. You can bet we made that happen for her.

I think these places have people to deal with that (i.e., maid service).

I got Gouda.

Exactly, if my husband leaves dishes laying around, I have no problem telling him to cut it out. But someone I don’t know? I have too big of a problem with confrontation for that.

Sharing amenities with people who are not significant others/family members is a terrible idea, because it’s that much harder to yell at them for being selfish assholes.

Nice cheese you say? Well then sign me up! I make all my important decisions based on whether or not Camembert is involved.