Why do they write these in the present tense?

Can the Lakers buy an add on Golden State’s jersey?

Right next to the Ghost, isn’t that one of the cruisers that Leia deliverd to the rebels?

I’m holding out for the Apple Bag 2. It’s waterproof.

How low does Top Gear have to sink before the BBC sucks it up and brings back Clarkson?

Don’t.

Don’t.

I’m still rocking an iPhone 4. I’ve dropped on concrete, on asphalt, on the stairs—and it hasn’t broken. I don’t have a case on it; it doesn’t have so much as a scratch. I’ve tried to break it accidentally / on purpose so that I can justify buying a 6s, instead of waiting for the inevitable 7, but no dice. It’s…

Avengers: Accessorize I & Avengers: Accessorize II - Electric Boogaloo?