Or when they know they’re handsome, so they always go all the way back to douche.

I’m going with nose job/cheek implant/boob job.

“It tastes like possum, y’all,” said Britney Spears.

#blessed

In short: a bunch of hot teens save the world with big guns and kicking/punching.

And 50 Shades is probably funnier than this. Unintentionally, of course.

“You can’t spell ass without class, or T&A without tact.” Steve Hirsch, Vivid Entertainment.

A legacy, indeed.

I had it, too! And I’m a guy. Don’t judge me.

Abort the Bieber. Please, dahling. #havingamoment

I hate you for posting that picture while I’m thinking about penis. How dare you.

Greed? Of course. She’s gotta work it like the rent is due.

And she ain’t got time for coat check either.

Miss Piggy?

Hmmm, time for the crisis management PR firm to hire a PR firm for crisis management.

She’s funnier than Kathy Griffin and more insightful than the insufferable Kelly Osbourne and Nene Leakes.

This is supposed to be a Funny or Die sketch, right? Right?

Kellan Lutz is an “actor” who thankfully doesn’t work much.

How did Rich not write this post? Unbeweavable.

Ditto. His tone is super nasal and his vibrato is forced.